Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Today was my first day at the eating disorders clinic.
I'll talk about it later ...
7:46 PM
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Monday, August 18, 2008
Yesterday,
my family went to a new church.
It was a Non-denominational Christian chruch.
Mom really liked it because that's how she grew up.
But, Dad grew up catholic, so I don't think he really enjoyed it.
After church, we all went out to eat.
Then,
I went to the mall with CJ's parents.
CJ wasn't there because he plays guitar at another church.
CJ DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO SEE ME.I kept sobbing the whole time.
Then I started
screaming.
And
kicking.
I think CJ's step-dad kinda thought I was some frreak,
or something.
So,
CJ's mom (who is
REALLY nice) called him to ask where he was.
Apparently, he was at some wedding party with the guys.
Then,
she told me how he always doesn't want to see me because
HE'S PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES.No girl should put up with THAT.
AM I RIGHT LADIES?!
I pretty much lost it then.
SO,
we got the the wedding party thing, and I didn't want to go in.
I didn't know ANYONE.
When I saw CJ
I WAS PISSED OFF.
I HAVE
NEVER BEEN SO PISSED OFF IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Me: Why would you put computer games BEFORE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?
Him: I dunno. (or something like that.)
Me: Do you even
care about me anymore?
Him: I'm not going to answer that.
I lost it once agian.
I decided to
run away from the party.
(Yeah, I know STUPID?)
Tears couldn't come out fast enough.
I ran to some bike trail...
Then,
his mom found me.
And we talked.
And we talked some more.
Then,
CJ found us.
And, I was so angry and depressed,
I didn't say anything,
I just
glared.Me: Why don't you just go home and play your stupid games?
Him: I'm ignoring you.
After that being said,
I ran away again.
But, he caught up to me.
(My anorexia slows my running speed down)
Him: I can't take you anymore!
Me: *sobs*
HIm: You seriously need some mental help, or something!
Me: *sobs*
Him: I don't know what to do with you anymore.
Me: *sobs*
Him: All you do is test me.
Me: *sobs*
Then,
he explained that he didn't want to talk to me anymore
because
he thought that was causing my depression to worsen.
BUT NOT SEEING HIM ANYMORE WOULDN'T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER...
He also said that I needed to start eating again,
so I said ... I'll try.
We had a long, long, LONG talk
Then, everything was better.
ILY, CJ<3
11:51 AM
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Saturday, August 16, 2008
Mehhh. .__.
Once again,
I feel quite
hollow inside.
But,
I managed to create another blogskin.
The BR!GHT 5 is another pure CSS skin.
Also,
I deleted my two latest pure CSS skins.
Looking back on them,
they look
pretty sloppy now.
Please comment and rate the new one. ;D
Today,
I bought a Teen Vogue magazine!
I think that I will subscribe to them.
Last night,
I wrote three letters.
I have been in a
big letter writing mood for some reason.
My dad, who is very old fashioned,
says that letter writing is a
lost art,
and when someone recieves a hand written letter,
it is very shocking to see that someone took the time do write you.
I want to write another letter,
but I have
no one to write too.
Anyone want to be pen pals? :D
4:19 PM
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Friday, August 15, 2008
NOW I am in a good blogging mood. ;D
Last night,
Dad said that I should make a dachshund blogskin.
Dachshunds are my
favorite breed of dog.
Their name is German, and it literally means "badger dog".
It is another simple skin called Dachshund Love.
Then,
I created my thirteenth skin titled Waiting For You.
I found it
really hard to code for some reason.
I couldn't get the css to flow with the image.
But, it turned out pretty nice.
PLEASE comment and rate them both.I had to get
another blood draw today.
I didn't cry even a bit.
Normally I am in the corner
screaming,
but I have gotten over my fear ... I guess.
Something I would
never expect happened today.
I got a letter in the mail from a friend.
She was quite concerned about my depression and eating disorder.
Most of all, she was sad that I wouldn't be in class for a while.
I was very touched.
12:29 PM
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Thursday, August 14, 2008
Today was my intake appointment that the eating disorder/depression clinic.
I also uploaded two new blogskins.
Please comment and rate them.I am not in a blogging mood right now ...
2:46 PM
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008
This was a
horrible,
dreadful,
awful,
horrendous,
terrible, &
unpleasant
day.
10:26 PM
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Monday, August 11, 2008
Vintage Goes Black And White is my newest blogskin.
Really simple.
I am currently working on another,
but it will not be ready until tomorrow or so.
---
I feel so utterly
empty.
CJ didn't even want to talk to me today.
I can tel thatl I am ... unwanted?
3:53 PM
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